Posts Tagged ‘self-help’

A few times now I have seen the end to something before it ever came to pass. I took in a deep breath and enjoyed it. The smell of the ocean and the mist at my face. Savour those moments to the end. You never know when it will end.

I fell asleep to your cry and still to this day sometimes I wonder why? I thought I was learning what it takes to be a father, instead the path of a man.  That night we held him in our arms, never did I think that would be the last. The purest of memories in my mind, the moment of the riches joys. To look into her eyes and see my son’s reflection. At the time I could have savoured this moment more.  I unfortunately live with this regret.

The band-aide of choice was to honor every moment as if it was my last. My full attention and concentration whenever I noticed I was slacking. Difficult for a ADHD kid at times, but thru time I have seen mass progression. Deepening the bond I have to offer to others.

The Sun was setting on the stern as we headed back to dock for the season. Oh the mist was so refreshing when it  hit my face. I had just raised the tuna poles and securing them tightly with the well worn rope. The soot from the exhausted covered my hands, I felt like it would be my last for a while, so I took another deep breath. My exhale was appreciation for this experience. What a wild ride this life has thrown at me and I am still standing here in a crow’s nest 30 ft off the water.

I like to think God puts us thru trials and we fail. We fail alot, repeatedly over and over again because we are stuck in our ways, fear change, but envy it. GET BACK UP...HEARD IN THE back of my head.  This repeated failure built the author of this post up from some dense ashes. I was lost in my own world of confusion trying to find a cure in all the wrong places. Then a random stranger who became brother introduced me to God right when I needed it. Someone to talk to….

His family opened their arms to me and at times,  I let them down like a son. But they taught me  my failures are my challenges and my challenges are my goals.  Mike and Diane will forever hold a special spot in my heart for introducing me to a saviour. The path I was walking was a dark suicidal. Scared to share for fear of repercussions. They LOVED me unconditionally and supported me with anything I ever wanted to do. They offered me rides to church every Sunday for Mass, Wednesday for class and every group event in between. A place to stay and tons of work. So blessed to experience them and have some formal introduction to God. Even if in the end I am just talking to myself at night. Its working…

As I reach my goals I run alongside others who are racing thru this universe, but I feel alone at times. I am blessed to have a healthy balance of friendship in my life. Those friends held me at my worst and praised me at best. Many tried to help and connect with me, but I pushed you away at times to hide in my solitude.I felt like I was a burden upon others and felt safe alone. Covering my emotions with hobbies, study, business.

When your alone, the voices come out to play. These voices try to play with me  from time to time now, but I have tools now to combat them. WE NEED QUIET ALONE TIME TO FEEL THOSE VOICES.  It’s amazing what life offers you when you keep in the back of your mind, someone is looking out for you. The Tone of the voice changes from a negative to a positive vibe. Encouraging and supportive. Let that new tone be God, Jesus, Buddha, Mohammed, The Universe, Your higher self or Ricky Bobby. It truly does help to just have some faith in something, not to mention yourself.

Don’t let me kid you or display my avatar “LAMBO” or fancy heal yourself blog. I can barely focus to type with the tears in my eyes. I had to stop proofreading to control myself and maintain. I have posted alot on this blog over the last 3 years and this is by far the toughest one to share. The most emotions I have allowed myself to feel in a long time. Did not even notice It was building up momentum inside of me.

Each year is different for me and always hits me at a angle I was not covering or prepared for. Once again left alone by choice in confusion and aloneness. These are the times I learn from my God the most. My son was was an angel sent here as my wake up call. Without the event taking place, would I be who I am now? I don’t think so. I was a stubborn boy who needed a powerful event to change my ways. That it did.

The military definitely taught me to maintain/Conceal my emotions. When you’re responsible or leading others in the military you have to keep it TOGETHER for the sake of the team. This is great character traits when your the man of the house. As long as you know how to open up to someone you confide in. Cons I have learned are bottling things up and cause long term mental issues if not SELF-TREATED. Not medicated, but thru self-awareness and evaluations. AKA  a journal.

I don’t think a journal is something that just works with a few people.I think only a few people are willing to make a journal work.


This was a tuff blog post write and I feel so much better now that I could share this with you. The things I do are not required, but they have helped me, maybe they will help you.


Be Strong for others












Hello Readers,
Thank you for every single comment, view, share and subscription.
Looking back on prior years I am shocked at my paper trail I have left here on this blog. I would never in my life claim to be a writer, but I write. Sometimes I have a way with words or a neat little play on them. But this blog is littered with spelling and grammar errors. I recognized my illiteracy and set out to practice. Practice as much as possible, whenever possible.

The birth of Naturopathic Paladin has given me the chance to write whenever I have a spare moment. A paragraph here and there over the course of 2 years has allowed over 200 articles to be posted on this blog. Alot of the articles are deep, mental thinkers and poems. Videos that I have watched and given paragraph summary. As you can see, I have been practicing. I still have alot to learn and practice to achieve literacy I am happy with but you get the point I hope.

Even if no one else sees it for me, I am going to see it for myself. Investing in my mind, even when I was homeless backpacking in the woods. Don’t give up your precious time to things that don’t nurture your soul. Life will always have its ups and down and all arounds. You won’t fall off the ride if you don’t let go. Be better today, then you were the day before.

Find something you want to learn. Become a violinist or start a playing the guitar. Become better at math by adding numbers together you see everyday in your head. Your all so talented and blessed individuals. So start thinking about your dream and know that its possible. Your going to enter alot of setbacks and defeat. But you will learn so much about yourself in the process. The earth is limitless for us and soon we will see it in ourselves.

Thank you for the time you took to visit my blog and I urge you to self educate.


Wanna learn a master trait?

Appreciative Notice
See your joys all around you each and every day. Count those eggs in your basket just so you can be thankful for each one of them. For each egg is a blessing and a curse in the same. Storing your eggs properly and nurturing the chicken who bestowed it. All things one must do to ensure a good outcome. But if one lets the egg sit unnoticed or unappreciated for too long, it begins to spoil.

The stink things make when we don’t appreciate them seems to foul up every aspect of our lives.  If we don’t appreciate the body, one will develop an oder. Let unappreciated animals roam and one will surely have a stinky home. Things we don’t show some appreciation too seem to rot on the shelves. Leaving us with the only option, disposal.

Have you been in a relationship that felt disposable at some point in your life?  Does this theory of unappreciated stink seem to effect our social life as well as our physical world? Lack of appreciation in relationships tends to lead to divorce and much worst some times. I think its safe to say the effect remains the same whether its physical or mental. Unappreciative actions, emotions or thoughts tend to end in rot.

So your very next breath…notice it… hold it… now release it with some appreciation.
Look at your life in this way. When you notice it, appreciate it.


Don't forget to stop and enjoy the view from time to time.

The iris’s history is rich, dating back to Ancient Greek times when the Greek Goddess Iris, the messenger of the gods and the personification of the rainbow, acted as the link between heaven and earth.

To the most Beautiful Iris I have ever seen.

Just tiny and small like a little bean

Your really never very clean

But you hold my heart on beams

Let this be your only love note

For All the boys I’ll choke 🙂

Where she came from and how I never saw her before. So beautiful and a pure heart. The laugh could make the hardest of faces smile. Like a thief in the night she came for my heart and I gave it up without a fight. She reminded me of the pure love that children have to offer us adults.

Every little thing was so new and fascinating to her. Showing me the coolest in everything, like a kid again. Opening my heart to receiving unconditional love. Helping me be here now in the moment. So that I do not miss a single cute thing. The blessings she offered me I lack the words for description. I am only left with feelings of intense joy and pure bliss.

The best part to this beautiful Iris is that I get to garden it. I feel like her super hero ready to save the day when I have her in my arms. Latching on to me with extreme joy in her laugh. Being able to make her smile when a tear comes to her eye has been something to be proud of. This Beautiful flower needs so much water(love) and I feel blessed to be able to offer her that in life. I want to protect her in ways that never even be taught. Let her know the signs of danger so that she may flee when need be.

With intention to never to take the place of something else. Only to offer a unique kind of loyal loving friendship with someone she can trust. A helping soul she can run to when the world gets to be too much. I see that to be and even if she is not right next to me I’ll be true as a bee. Ill never flee and always be right next to thee. You bring me so much joy at the thought of your smile. How something so small can have such a large effect on my heart.

If you don’t got an Iris, you need one 

Through its intricate history, the meanings of the iris has come to include faith, hope, and wisdom. Depending on factors such as color and region, irises may bear additional meanings as well. In some parts of the world, the dark blue or purple iris can denote royalty, whereas the yellow iris can be a symbol of passion. Irises may also express courage and admiration.

We come from a different world. Most people make a family and a living than they die. They fear of failing in their dreams. We are different then them. We know who we are and where we want to go. We need to see that we are unique.

We are being the right person we need to be and we define our value based off our self-love. We need to see that some people that give advice are not living their dreams. They are not investing in their minds yet they share insight that we can cherish, but with a grain of salt. We need to believe in our goals and not matter how hard it gets. I’m gonna make it.

You need to start reading and start getting to know your self. take the time to see how different your mind is than those of the negative world. Take the first step in bettering the world by doing it for yourself.

Some people aren’t ready for the next step and don’t be held back by their views. We know the need to better our skills in life. We must develop a role model mindset for those we wish you keep around that struggle in an area we can help. We understand we can not help anyone till we are on the right track as well.

We take the time to be in silence and release out thoughts of fear. The universe will take them and renew them with love if you let go of it. I know we all feel like we would rather just wake up when we are their. But we are their in this very moment. With no job, no, car , no house and a dog I am still happy to be sitting here on the bus writing about how much I love my life.

I had tons and tons of income and plenty of free time to get myself in trouble if i so wanted to. Carrying the weight of the world was a task I thought that I had to complete. It still is, but in non-destructive ways now. Being able to offer support at the highest level I can. My words are the tools I have to help you know my friends. Let my love be felt when you read my words and reach out to me if you need support. My ear is always here to help guide a person to the freedoms I found when I fell flat on my face.

Like most people in this world. I ran away from my problems and recouped till a plan was formed. I feel sometimes that is needed if everything becomes to emotional and controlling your life. We all need a place we can find solitude in. I found mine in the woods of Idaho fof the months leading up to the winter. Doing small runs for supplies every other week but resting on my skills to live. Breaking my point of stress and worries of life to just keeping the fire lite.

My friends and family send out worries to me when I ran. They would seek me out on the hill and bring me gifts to remind me that someone loves me still. That joy of seeing a human face was pure joy after being alone for weeks at a time. life in absence of people was a time to find me and understand a need we all have to connect to each other. Helping each other remember that we are not alone in this world when we don’t want to be. It’s only when we lock out our loved ones do we truly find ourselves alone

Are you a woman in the 10%? The other 90% are at home eating or staying stagnant with unhealthy careers. The 10% is the ones making themselves better everyday and filled with joy. They can’t afford college most times but use the internet to educate themselves. Investing in their minds and developing deeper understanding of love. They blow us men away when they teach us a thing or two.

We all have to have a job and 90% are content with being where they are. Lacking hope and drive to grasp a bigger design for self. The bursts of motivation from instant gratification provided from any addiction. The human soul being the biggest drug to any of us. Making some men wonder if she only loves him because she’s lonely. The 10% are not lonely, but content with everything.

The 10% of Women Strive

  • Experience to share and lessons that guide them
  • Substance and depth in their life
  • Self awareness, acceptance of insecurities
  • Composure and Confidence thru knowledge
  • Be who they are and let no man change them.
  • They are a positive influence when things are going wrong
  • Can admit they had a hard day but can heal from a hug
  • They speak of the good in people to others

They don’t compare themselves to others and know they offer a unique experience. The insecurities of their soul are not covered by layers of Mary Kay. They focus on being a better person and learning to live a richer life. They focus on making a better world that they can share with their partner. The way they display loyalty and to observe their mind work is sexy to our species. They fall in love with bettering themselves as a partner and attract what they become.

 You’re in the 10%

Seeing 333’s says the mind, body and spirit are balanced. Angels are amidst you and will guide you. Have confidence in all

  • Do you see repeating numbers like 333?
    • Taken time to research the numbers?
  • Do you notice a pattern in the animals you see?
    • Do you look up totem animal meanings?

Is my trust destroyed or is this a moment I can show how strong I can be in a relationship.

Its harder to have reasons to be insecure and choose not to.

You have a choice on how you are going to react to the situation.

You can choose not to put up a wall of fear and look for your new challenges

Strive to be better everyday, but most of all love.

Falling in love will increase neuronal activity in the areas of the brain associated with pleasure — the very same ones that activate with cocaine use. Using this knowledge to understand that love is a drug and the come down is the worst. That person we had in our lives every day is gone and left you needing a fix. A feeling that every soul on this earth will have a chance to feel. We all have lost someone they love to the worldly challenges a relationship faces.

Let’s face the facts about most of us and no one has a good track record for keeping a relationship. So to expect someone to stay with you forever is quite out of the picture with our modern-day lifestyle. Seeing most relationships last only 2-3 years before they crumble unless they get married or have a good understanding. Life is an experience and you don’t have to sleep with everyone you start seeing. Try to be a persons friend and you will last longer in their lives. Its experiences that we share that build the relationship most try to jump into.

I seek the wisdom of those over 5-6 years with a partner and would love you to comment tricks. how long you waited to move in together? General timelines for sex, i love you, etc that you can think of.

But its been a few months and that one you thought was forever starts not talking to you as much. The fire seemed to die down and all the ash is left. Feels as if the love you started to form went up in smoke and your alone sitting in the ashes.

All people have a choice in the first 6 months of seeing someone if they want to stay with them. Sometimes the incentives we offer up freely don’t attract what we think we want. They attract what we need to have happen to us. The problem is now your hurt and gonna have some walls towards the next guy. That’s where your fear will bring about that same pattern in every relationship till you see the pattern. Identify the fear and release it.

Learn to use the owl totem to help see past people’s masks. See that sometimes people are just selfish and don’t express their true emotions. They say what they think others want to hear in order to please their surroundings cause they in turn are not happy with life. Gotta love life and be infectious with your love. Finding a soul that is really happy and not gonna feed off your happiness is tricky.
I always build my life up for us and remember to keep doing it even when I meet a pretty distraction. We are all meant for our own destinations. When we get off path and become focused on the wrong thing or person. We can only hope the universe ends it before it does more damage than teaches. Let your spiritual development be your goal of your life thru all your trials. Know that if an influence is not good for your spirit, the guides will help you remove it.
  Fall in love every time. Over and over again and again. Even when it hurts and scares you silly. Because the benefits in life outweigh the risks. Because it’s beautiful and fun and painful and terrifying, and totally worth it
 I am fond of a saying I heard about a blast long ago that shattered my soul into thousands of pieces. They reached the farthest depths of space. Coming to form peice at a time in each new soul that I am destined to meet. Finding a little piece of my soul in everyone that I love. Some have had bigger parts, but all have a connection to my heart.

First jhana
Suppose that a wild deer is living in a wilderness glen. Carefree it walks, carefree it stands, carefree it sits, carefree it lies down. Why is that? Because it has gone beyond the hunter’s range. In the same way, a monk — quite withdrawn from sensual pleasures, withdrawn from unskillful qualities — enters & remains in the first jhana: rapture & pleasure born from withdrawal, accompanied by directed thought & evaluation. This monk is said to have blinded Mara. Trackless, he has destroyed Mara’s vision and has become invisible to the Evil One.

Second jhana
Then again the monk, with the stilling of directed thoughts & evaluations, enters & remains in the second jhana: rapture & pleasure born of composure, unification of awareness free from directed thought & evaluation — internal assurance. This monk is said to have blinded Mara. Trackless, he has destroyed Mara’s vision and has become invisible to the Evil One.

Third jhana
Then again the monk, with the fading of rapture, he remains equanimous, mindful, & alert, and senses pleasure with the body. He enters & remains in the third jhana, of which the Noble Ones declare, ‘Equanimous & mindful, he has a pleasant abiding.’ This monk is said to have blinded Mara. Trackless, he has destroyed Mara’s vision and has become invisible to the Evil One.

Fourth jhana
Then again the monk, with the abandoning of pleasure & stress — as with the earlier disappearance of elation & distress — enters & remains in the fourth jhana: purity of equanimity & mindfulness, neither-pleasure-nor-pain. This monk is said to have blinded Mara. Trackless, he has destroyed Mara’s vision and has become invisible to the Evil One.

The infinitude of space
Then again the monk, with the complete transcending of perceptions of [physical] form, with the disappearance of perceptions of resistance, and not heeding perceptions of diversity, [perceiving,] “Infinite space,” enters & remains in the dimension of the infinitude of space. This monk is said to have blinded Mara. Trackless, he has destroyed Mara’s vision and has become invisible to the Evil One.

The infinitude of consciousness
Then again the monk, with the complete transcending of the dimension of the infinitude of space, [perceiving,] ‘Infinite consciousness,’ enters & remains in the dimension of the infinitude of consciousness. This monk is said to have blinded Mara. Trackless, he has destroyed Mara’s vision and has become invisible to the Evil One.

The dimension of nothingness
Then again the monk, with the complete transcending of the dimension of the infinitude of consciousness, [perceiving,] ‘There is nothing,’ enters & remains in the dimension of nothingness. This monk is said to have blinded Mara. Trackless, he has destroyed Mara’s vision and has become invisible to the Evil One.

The dimension of neither perception nor non-perception
Then again the monk, with the complete transcending of the dimension of nothingness, enters & remains in the dimension of neither perception nor non-perception. This monk is said to have blinded Mara. Trackless, he has destroyed Mara’s vision and has become invisible to the Evil One.

The cessation of perception & feeling
Then again the monk, with the complete transcending of the dimension of neither perception nor non-perception, enters & remains in the cessation of perception & feeling. And, having seen [that] with discernment, his mental fermentations are completely ended. This monk is said to have blinded Mara. Trackless, he has destroyed Mara’s vision and has become invisible to the Evil One. Having crossed over, he is unattached in the world. Carefree he walks, carefree he stands, carefree he sits, carefree he lies down. Why is that? Because he has gone beyond the Evil One’s range.

The Need to Journal is bigger than you see.

While driving down the road I notice Burger King and thought, I used to like Burger King. Before I knew how to Google ingredients of that stuff. But never the less,  it was there for me at one point in my life that I was able to enjoy it.  So I wrote down I was Thankful for Burger King in my new gratitude journal.

Journal How Grateful you are

One of the best ways to be grateful is to record your thoughts in a journal.                   Example of a Journal

When we went inside Burger King. The manager, a younger guy was doing an inventory while his employee rushed around busy as could be. We stood there for a few minutes while the manager finished writing. He noticed us and came to take our order and that’s when we found out the plastic cups cost 25 cents now days. Gezzz…

After our order was placed, I had the feeling of discontent in the service that manager promoted. So I had my gratitude journal on me and starting writing about a time that I had great service and got to witness amazing leadership on a management team. Not even deal with my emotional attachment to how service should be or that I expect. I let it go and wrote in my journal the things I was currently enjoying.

Just a thought I do for better living. I have been doing daily is keeping a journal for a few years now. Quite the collection I have of knowledge. It takes the anger away from events I find difficult to handle. I have a few journals for different reasons and plan on sharing more information on my journals latter on.

Passing Down Knowledge

Most of all, priceless past downs to my family of the knowledge I received while I was here. I try to look at the perspective of the reader that my journals may one day have. I plan for my children to take what they need from them and start journals of their own. Each one of us can heal and be healed. The power seems to be in our own thoughts and keeping a healthy mindset

Sometimes it is so easy to get caught up with the little things in our lives that we forget all the good things. A gratitude journal helps to focus your thoughts on the what is good in your life.

Sometimes it is so easy to get caught up with the little things in our lives that we forget all the good things. A gratitude journal helps to focus your thoughts on the what is good in your life.

I remind myself that I am safe and highlight all the best parts to my day.

I even go over the blessings with the challenges I faced…. I don’t seem to repeat the same issue twice. Something is working with life and using a journal every day is one of the tools. Writing about the good in everything helps you see the good outweighing the bad. Depression seems no more when you highlight the positive out comings of the day.

Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow. — Melody Beattie

STOP destructive BEHAVIOUR

If you seriously want to start changing your life and not have the negative around anymore. You need to start a journal and Identify what brings you joy. Spotlighting the good you enjoy in your life and putting it down on paper will attract more of those good things!

Using my journal I have highlighted some of the things I admire about my father

Using my journal I have highlighted some of the things I admire about my father

I love cream cheese and had a chance to eat with a friend the other week. Right before bed I wrote in my journal and captured the name of the place and what I ordered. I listed the reason why I was there and remember a few things from the past that kept me alive. I am stronger and have proof of a joyous life. I really enjoy reading what I wrote and remembering that moment with all of its details.

So to get started get a journal right now that is special or simple. The choice is yours and for your joy alone. I like to have them all the same size and simple to carry around, 150 to 200 pages.  Click here to view some that are perfect for this exercise.

I hope some readers have taken to light journaling and would love to hear some tips or tricks that you might have to offer! Please give it a shot and start writing today about how great the day is!