Archive for the ‘Self-Help’ Category

A few times now I have seen the end to something before it ever came to pass. I took in a deep breath and enjoyed it. The smell of the ocean and the mist at my face. Savour those moments to the end. You never know when it will end.

I fell asleep to your cry and still to this day sometimes I wonder why? I thought I was learning what it takes to be a father, instead the path of a man.  That night we held him in our arms, never did I think that would be the last. The purest of memories in my mind, the moment of the riches joys. To look into her eyes and see my son’s reflection. At the time I could have savoured this moment more.  I unfortunately live with this regret.

The band-aide of choice was to honor every moment as if it was my last. My full attention and concentration whenever I noticed I was slacking. Difficult for a ADHD kid at times, but thru time I have seen mass progression. Deepening the bond I have to offer to others.

The Sun was setting on the stern as we headed back to dock for the season. Oh the mist was so refreshing when it  hit my face. I had just raised the tuna poles and securing them tightly with the well worn rope. The soot from the exhausted covered my hands, I felt like it would be my last for a while, so I took another deep breath. My exhale was appreciation for this experience. What a wild ride this life has thrown at me and I am still standing here in a crow’s nest 30 ft off the water.

I like to think God puts us thru trials and we fail. We fail alot, repeatedly over and over again because we are stuck in our ways, fear change, but envy it. GET BACK UP...HEARD IN THE back of my head.  This repeated failure built the author of this post up from some dense ashes. I was lost in my own world of confusion trying to find a cure in all the wrong places. Then a random stranger who became brother introduced me to God right when I needed it. Someone to talk to….

His family opened their arms to me and at times,  I let them down like a son. But they taught me  my failures are my challenges and my challenges are my goals.  Mike and Diane will forever hold a special spot in my heart for introducing me to a saviour. The path I was walking was a dark suicidal. Scared to share for fear of repercussions. They LOVED me unconditionally and supported me with anything I ever wanted to do. They offered me rides to church every Sunday for Mass, Wednesday for class and every group event in between. A place to stay and tons of work. So blessed to experience them and have some formal introduction to God. Even if in the end I am just talking to myself at night. Its working…

As I reach my goals I run alongside others who are racing thru this universe, but I feel alone at times. I am blessed to have a healthy balance of friendship in my life. Those friends held me at my worst and praised me at best. Many tried to help and connect with me, but I pushed you away at times to hide in my solitude.I felt like I was a burden upon others and felt safe alone. Covering my emotions with hobbies, study, business.

When your alone, the voices come out to play. These voices try to play with me  from time to time now, but I have tools now to combat them. WE NEED QUIET ALONE TIME TO FEEL THOSE VOICES.  It’s amazing what life offers you when you keep in the back of your mind, someone is looking out for you. The Tone of the voice changes from a negative to a positive vibe. Encouraging and supportive. Let that new tone be God, Jesus, Buddha, Mohammed, The Universe, Your higher self or Ricky Bobby. It truly does help to just have some faith in something, not to mention yourself.

Don’t let me kid you or display my avatar “LAMBO” or fancy heal yourself blog. I can barely focus to type with the tears in my eyes. I had to stop proofreading to control myself and maintain. I have posted alot on this blog over the last 3 years and this is by far the toughest one to share. The most emotions I have allowed myself to feel in a long time. Did not even notice It was building up momentum inside of me.

Each year is different for me and always hits me at a angle I was not covering or prepared for. Once again left alone by choice in confusion and aloneness. These are the times I learn from my God the most. My son was was an angel sent here as my wake up call. Without the event taking place, would I be who I am now? I don’t think so. I was a stubborn boy who needed a powerful event to change my ways. That it did.

The military definitely taught me to maintain/Conceal my emotions. When you’re responsible or leading others in the military you have to keep it TOGETHER for the sake of the team. This is great character traits when your the man of the house. As long as you know how to open up to someone you confide in. Cons I have learned are bottling things up and cause long term mental issues if not SELF-TREATED. Not medicated, but thru self-awareness and evaluations. AKA  a journal.

I don’t think a journal is something that just works with a few people.I think only a few people are willing to make a journal work.


This was a tuff blog post write and I feel so much better now that I could share this with you. The things I do are not required, but they have helped me, maybe they will help you.


Be Strong for others












How hard are you working?

Posted: February 27, 2017 in Self-Help, Self-Love

Life is so short… work your butt off

Today As I got a haircut, I saw a gray hair fall on my  pant leg… I did not know what to think.

My thoughts raced around like a bubbly little boy and then it clicked. I earned that gray hair. I might have got in while having patience for others. Maybe when I was training my dog and he was so stubborn. However It got there, I earned it.

As you go thru life, can you say that about yourself? Do you work your butt off every day and focus on your goals?  Strive to be that individual that shines and turns heads when they walk in. Its confidence that glows so bright for the world to see.  Have faith in yourself and this will encourage others to have faith in themselves.

Change the world, or be changed by the world

Noticing the changes

Posted: February 22, 2017 in joy, love, Self-Help, Self-Love

Living out our lives day by day and hour by hour. We dont see our changes that happen daily within our soul until we get that chance. That chance to have something to compare it too… difficult concept. Comparing yourself to a prior self and being able to notice the changes. Don’t ever compare yourself to others use yourself as a reference. 

How the heck do we look at ourselves in that prior mindset with the mindset we currently have? 

I believe we have two options and maybe more. But the ones that have worked for me so far;

Journaling — this gives me something to look back upon seeing a date and time remembering my emotions then. Most of the time when I use this method I end up staring at what I wrote and just off shocked where my mindset was at the time. After doing this several times I realized just how crazy I am. Sometimes it’s best to Journal and not let the world be exposed to things you can handle in your own mind.

Outside Support—  I recently had a chance to spend time with somebody who’s known me almost going on a decade. All the things my friend told me of the way I’ve acted in the past leave me in awe and shock. Disappointed in my prior self, but proud of this new me. When somebody who cares has known you a long time you can use this resource to better yourself. Ask them things that you could do to be a better person or better the relationship. Learn to vocalize your needs and emotions in a productive manner.

Cant do it all alone

We cant do this thing called life alone. Even with the Journaling tool. We still have a need to connect, a need to be understood, a need to feel wanted and appreciated. We can appreciate ourselves and we should!  But when someone else does it, it creates magic in my heart. Sparks a fire and ignites my world.  Do you let those around you know how appreciated they are? Make sure they do. Sometimes we forget to tell them and assume they know. As humans… we need to express that to each other.

Be open

When you ask for someones opinion. Keep in mind. That is THIER opinion. You can not argue with a opinion of someone. That is theirs to keep and mold as they please. We all have that right in life. But their opinion does not have to become your own. We have the power to better our selves and only the few will ever take advantage of that. When you start noticing the transition from boy to man or girl to woman.. You can take pride in your changes. Taking pride will boost self confidence and keep you grounded when others attempt to untack you from your goals. Be strong and vigilant as well transgress through our day!  

Hello readers!

I recently learned a cheat code in life that i want to share. The next time you encounter a challenge or suffer a loss this article will ring in your mind. The gates of opportunity will be opned and shared with thoses who trust life and do not fret.

I recently returned home from a trip to Idaho. The trip was a blast and an opportunity to spend time with loved ones. The night I returned to my home I was confronted by a new person who had worked his way into my little home thru my roommate. For privacy sake, we will call him Skippy.

Skippy had a few serious insecurity issues that creates aggression in his soul. He was very fearful of strangers and lived in a constant state of paranoia. Some drug use was noticeable from the way he was acting. Felt sorry for him as human and bought him food, shared tobacco and allowed him to vent some of his issues. His heart was very torn by his recent relationship and she is all he spoke about.

One evening I had made plans to go an different city to hangout with friends. Skippy stopped me before I left and told me he had so much to tell me and apologize for. I allowed him to talk and vent his heart. Telling me that he was sorry for not being a very good friend. He also informed me that he stole a hundred dollars out of my jacket. I was on a tight budget for that month and had been wondering where I placed that money. I thanked him for his honesty and informed him we could talk when I returned.

The anger of my roommate grew deep with Skippy. Disappointed in every aspect of Skippys actions. While I was away he made Skippy work his butt off to earn back that money he stole. When I returned skippy handed me $100 and apologized again. This all happened so fast, seemed as if a test. A test to keep faith and my temper in check. Thru these calm actions my issues had been rectified. So keep some faith in your heart and forgive others often.

Hello Readers,
Thank you for every single comment, view, share and subscription.
Looking back on prior years I am shocked at my paper trail I have left here on this blog. I would never in my life claim to be a writer, but I write. Sometimes I have a way with words or a neat little play on them. But this blog is littered with spelling and grammar errors. I recognized my illiteracy and set out to practice. Practice as much as possible, whenever possible.

The birth of Naturopathic Paladin has given me the chance to write whenever I have a spare moment. A paragraph here and there over the course of 2 years has allowed over 200 articles to be posted on this blog. Alot of the articles are deep, mental thinkers and poems. Videos that I have watched and given paragraph summary. As you can see, I have been practicing. I still have alot to learn and practice to achieve literacy I am happy with but you get the point I hope.

Even if no one else sees it for me, I am going to see it for myself. Investing in my mind, even when I was homeless backpacking in the woods. Don’t give up your precious time to things that don’t nurture your soul. Life will always have its ups and down and all arounds. You won’t fall off the ride if you don’t let go. Be better today, then you were the day before.

Find something you want to learn. Become a violinist or start a playing the guitar. Become better at math by adding numbers together you see everyday in your head. Your all so talented and blessed individuals. So start thinking about your dream and know that its possible. Your going to enter alot of setbacks and defeat. But you will learn so much about yourself in the process. The earth is limitless for us and soon we will see it in ourselves.

Thank you for the time you took to visit my blog and I urge you to self educate.


Wanna learn a master trait?

Appreciative Notice
See your joys all around you each and every day. Count those eggs in your basket just so you can be thankful for each one of them. For each egg is a blessing and a curse in the same. Storing your eggs properly and nurturing the chicken who bestowed it. All things one must do to ensure a good outcome. But if one lets the egg sit unnoticed or unappreciated for too long, it begins to spoil.

The stink things make when we don’t appreciate them seems to foul up every aspect of our lives.  If we don’t appreciate the body, one will develop an oder. Let unappreciated animals roam and one will surely have a stinky home. Things we don’t show some appreciation too seem to rot on the shelves. Leaving us with the only option, disposal.

Have you been in a relationship that felt disposable at some point in your life?  Does this theory of unappreciated stink seem to effect our social life as well as our physical world? Lack of appreciation in relationships tends to lead to divorce and much worst some times. I think its safe to say the effect remains the same whether its physical or mental. Unappreciative actions, emotions or thoughts tend to end in rot.

So your very next breath…notice it… hold it… now release it with some appreciation.
Look at your life in this way. When you notice it, appreciate it.


Don't forget to stop and enjoy the view from time to time.

One persons trash is anothers persons treasure. Unfortunately we treat our relations with others in this manner. When we feel like someone’s trash let’s  think of how many people are happy you became single. Hence you become a new treasure!

Now what about when we are single? What should we do to maintian sanity?

I know somethings that never were beneficial;
Hunting– term used to find potential partners at a bar or event.
Looking for love in general has never been very profitable. The love we seek seems to just happen at the drop of a dime on a randomized day. Unpredictable in nature, but just as beautiful as nature when it blooms.
Facebook trolling/scrolling- wasting most of the day trying to connect with people I never was ment to connect with.
Random messages- Seriously think of how many messages girls/guys get from creepy individuals, alot. This also has not been a good investment of energy.
Getting Butt Hurt- when you send this random message and she/he does not respond. Don’t be a rude and blame them for your insecurities.
Naughty pictures- a warning to both genders, others will see your goodies. Girls are even starting to post the penis pictures to facebook. Best not to EVER do this.

Depression/crazy- if she/he dont respond to your messages or you have issues with how fast they respond. You need to be single. See below, how to build a lofe to be proud of. See how long your depression lasts when you accomplish some goals.

Being single gives you more time to mature as an adult and to properly get to know who you are and what you actually want in life… Both single and taken have their pros and cons. But no matter what you’re feeling on your single status, one thing remains true: you are free. This freedom seems like eternal prison sometimes, but its good for you to grow without relationship influence. Learn what you love, discover your goals and ambitions, and write down your priorities.

Tackling the world may seem like a never ending task,  cause it is until you die. Get used to handling stress and trials on your own. Building this confidence up is nothing but sexy to those who pursue you in the shadows. We all have secret admirers that have been too shy to speak up. Keep that in mind when you feel like a lonely little duck. Keep pushing thru life building your empire of your dreams. Pursuing your life goals will attract the right energy you need to succeed.

Sometimes we fall in love and its nothing but a toxic relationship. Energy draining and consumed by negitive emotions. How can one succeed? Dont keep anything that does not nourish your soul, hold fast to all that does.


Build a life to be proud of
Do you play the guitar? Maybe learn so you can share.
Write poetry? Don’t be scared to share
Are you a history nut? Expand your knowledge deeper.
Do you volunteer? Kindness is sexy.

My point is to learn something… learn something you can teach or share with your partner.
Don’t be boring,  get some hobbies.

Are you ready to date?
Do you have income?
Know how to love?
Know yourself?
Know your boundaries?
Are you happy being alone?
Do you need someone or want someone?

When one or more of these is lacking, chances are your better off without the distraction until you gain control of your life.

Being single is a great time to be you! So many options!

If your recently single and wondering “what the hell happened?”  You or your partner were lacking. Self-healing starts at self-respect, self-reliance and self-love. You attract the energy you put out, be wise to your energy investments and don’t be self-loathing.wp-1467331473224.jpg


Self-hatred (also called self-loathing) refers to an extreme dislike or hatred of oneself, or being angry at or even prejudiced against oneself.

If you dont love yourself, no one else will either.

Be strong my readers, hope you enjoyed this 🙂


Naturopathic Paladin



Rainbow Gathering Oregon 2016

#rainbowgathering #rainbow #oregonregional #2016rainbow #welcomehome


Started in the late 1960s as an outgrowth of the anti-war and hippy movements, the Rainbow Family of Living Light describes itself as “the largest best coordinated nonpolitical nondenominational nonorganization of like-minded individuals on the planet.”

The flagship Rainbow Family Gatherings, which have occurred every July since 1972 in a different US national forest, are like longer, more authentically weird versions of Burning Man, bringing together upwards of 10,000 “Rainbows” from a cross section of fringe culture: bikers, Jesus freaks, computer programmers, naked yogis, and gutter punks looking to escape “Babylon,” the Rainbow shorthand for the various evils of modern life.

The gatherings are free and open to anyone.

No one is in charge, and nobody can tell anyone else what to do.

Well the journey was an easy one for us. Only 3 and a half hours away we made the adventure to meditation hill where we will soon set up camp. Outside Hebo, Oregon the gathering was about to be sparked off. Long pack from the car made us super tired the first day. My partner decided to take a rest once we made camp. This gave me a chance to explore the hillside and meet some people here. Maybe find the deep fat fried snickers bars I heard a camp was making on my walk in.



So I headed down to the meadow to see where all the kitchens where set up at. Kitchens are camps dedicated to feeding the gathering. All sorts of food is donated to the kitchens during the gathering. People go to the kitchen offering to help in exchange for being accepted into the camp to eat. Some chores include gathering wood, water runs and dishes. Stumbling into one of these kitchens as hungry as a bear. I offered help in anyway I could and ended up doing the cooking! So I got to prepping the dishes and all my ingredients. Several people came to help me chop things up and boil water. The community aspects of Rainbow are phenomenal. I was a bit bummed when I saw a ton of people who did nothing to help came and swarmed the pot of food. Leaving the cooks with a small portion. I hope some people read this and rethink their tactics next year.


We developed a dish washing system and installed a counter to prep food.

After cooking an amazing meal and sharing it with my fellow gathers, I departed for my camp. Upon returning, my partner was still fast asleep in his hammock. Tired from the drive that day I am sure. The peacefulness of the forest was very meditative and sung you lullabies at night. Its been a while since I got to enjoy the peaceful sounds of nature. I work on the ocean, very meditative as well, but lacks dirt. Grounding is difficult given I am on a metal boat in the water. This opened my eyes to some things I should bring next time.


Normal camping stuff (this varies depending on “how” you camp):

Sleeping bag/hammock, blanket, tent/tarp, toilet paper/paper towels.

Check the weather: rain gear, appropriate clothes, etc…

PLATE, CUP or BOWL, and SPOON: this will be your food dish. You will eat out of it so this is VERY IMPORTANT.

Biodegradeable soaps and stuff.

WATER, WATER, WATER, and more WATER: Drinkable water is a very precious comodity. If you can hike some in… or bring some to the lot and ask for some help to hike it you will make many people happy. Pretty much all you get to drink at Rainbow gatherings is water coffee and tea. If you don’t like coffee or tea, you may want to bring powdered drink mix (with the sugar already added).

Sweets (especially chocolate).

Fruits and Vegetables. Bring extra if you can to donate to the kitchens.

Tools if you can (i.e. knife, axe, saw) There will always be firewood that needs cuttin’.

Musical instruments (non-electrical)
Flow arts toys
Fire toys, poi, nunchucks, staff
Cigarettes, even if you dont smoke. Roll your owns are best, Taylor made [store bought] are expensive.


This meditation center was established to help people fimd some zen in the forest.

I needed this peace and harmony right now. I did not come to rainbow to socially connect with people. I came to rainbow to connect with myself and the important things in my life. I recently connected deeply with someone before I came here and lost that connection just as fast as it formed. So I came here with a sense to gain clarity again in my mind. Emptying some dead butterflies from my body and making room for love of myself. Letting go of what I can’t control is not an issue for me anymore. I have learned Im strong in my spirit and know myself. Im worth my weight in gold. I know I can father a child, be a great husband and an amazing friend. Im a stack of gold in human flesh and so are you.


Enter into a world of bonding, man and creature.

Being a good friend has been the most rewarding. Friends last longer then lovers from what I see. My buddies are still here after years of knowing each other. IM STARTING TO HATE RELATIONSHIPS. When its over its over, thats it. Friendship done, unless both are mature enough to handle it. But you only know that when you know each other. So for future relationships, thats a no go. Get to know me alot before you decide to see how much love I got to give. Read my blog, learn about me. Show that you want to be my friend first. Told that I am too good to be true. Well if you dont feel worthy then maybe I am. Life still has alot to teach and lessons to share with me. But I know the tools to succeed, like Journaling, meditation, gratitude and selfless service. With those tools I can overcome any heartbreak or personal issue I want to abolish. Looking at myself like a super hero when things hurt my feelings. Remembering myself worth and always expanding my mind.


Enjoying our own camp fire on a rainy morning.

I’m a leader but I know when to follow.  This rainbow gathering has awoken a side of me to be a stronger leader in all that I do. When something needs to be done, I do it. I AM THAT HARDWORKER. I surround myself with successful people to learn from them. Success can be mesasured in several ways but whats it important is mental success. Accomplishing mental clarity is my best tool to be successful. Regain your balance and take charge of your life. Dont be full of negitive comments and jeer. Replace that with cheer!


The children of the rainbow melted our hearts as they passed the frezbee around the meadow.

I got a chance to play with some cute adorable hippy kids. Kids that live in the rainbow are adorable as can be! We watched them throw the frezbee back and forth. Laughing at the little guys rain terror on the other gathers. This was a blessing and reminds me of the joy kids bring me. I truly can’t wait for the day to raise and enjoy my own. But I am not gonna accomplish that until I am soul mated up. Thus giving me the time to develop patience and virtue for them to enjoy. This time we have to be single is truly our time to be alive! Several kids were walking around asking for pocket trash! Super cool way to keep the trash off the forest floor!


While gathering under the tree for announcements, local forest service had agents present.

We saw Law enforcement? Why?

See forest Service agents at camp

The Forest Service continues to deploy a National Incident Management Team of about 40 federal law enforcement agents to the annual gathering, at a taxpayer cost of about $500,000. Oregon gatherings have a long history of getting messed with. So dont be shocked when you see them running around. The term 6-up means they are coming! Guns in the church was another term we heard yelled thru the meadow. Like a hippy alarm system for the gathering.


Being single allows me to travel and see the things I want to see. I can live a life thats more suited to my smile. I give alot when I am in a relationship, so much that I risk losing my identity sometimes. When I meet someone who has a lower vibration in certain areas I tend to help bring them up. Subconsciously lowering myself out of balence without ever noticing it till its to late.

quotes-about-being-single-and-happy-100 Working on that with each new obstacle life puts before me. Remembering Im worth it and never letting life keep me down. Help, but not feed into co-dependent relationships, either intimate or friendships. Building up those around me brings a smile to my face. Seeing ones I love hurting or lost puts my soul into overdrive mode. Truly caring for someone can change their life. Remind them that they are wanted! Thats what attracted me to most, they wanted me. They wanted to be around my energy, they were supporters of my life. Nourishing my soul with their every action.


We walk and explore the woods! Seeing all the tents n` tarps people call their homes for the week. Accidentally stumbling upon the bathrooms was quite gross, but cool to see people thinking about sanitation. We stopped several times to chat with bypassing gathers and created hippy road blocks. Getting 10 or 15 people hanging out on the path was fun. So many walks of life here and full of unquestionably unique people. Some have came from a hard life of being a runaway and other have chosen to live this life. Traveling from forest to forest month after month! What a life to travel state by state in a box car on the train tracks. This place will open your eyes to what life could be like if you were given different cards. One of the definitions for the word rainbow i felt fit perfect;


a wide range or variety of related and typically colorful things



Sitting in the meadow enjoying the sun and smells of food.

Being able to sit in the meadow and enjoy passing strangers was super super fun. The random people that come up and share with you is what makes sitting in the meadow so great.  Drums fill the air and dogs running crazy like. That made it hard for me to have my doggy out alot, but he did quite well. I would say at least 30 dogs showed up and maybe 10 of them on a lease. Several very agro dogs [aggressive], so we kept a close eye on our puppies.


The parking kinda sucked.

After 2 days of rain we decided we had enough rainbow for this year. The blessings were many and the connections were so rare. We hope we get a chance to visit our new friends Hippy and Zen at their property in washington next time we have time off. Everyone else that I did not get a chance to meet! I love you!




Shared a journal with a friend. She wrote in mine and I in hers.


If you have photos of this Gathering please post or email them.    -Ill update this from time to time. 🙂

If you would like to stay up todate with Rainbow events, please subscribe to my blog and give the post a like so others have a chance to know about the magic of Rainbow.

Want to attend a Rainbow gathering? Look at this Rainbow Mini Manual.

Read about my journey to S. Dakota Blackhills 2015 Nationals Rainbow Gathering.

Please share and like so others can learn of the magic of Rainbow.

Naturopathic Paladin

Enjoy some other blogs posts;

7 mins to be more mindful

Take 10 mins to be more mindful thru meditation

10 mins to Better Conversation Skills




Posted: May 17, 2016 in Facebook qoutes, Self-Help, Self-Love
Tags: , , , , ,

This is so true…
Think about the things you say no to becuase you KNOW it will change everything.
A new career that you turned down.
A new relationship rejected
A decision to apologize for long forgotten offenses
Maybe a wrong choice in the people you surround yourself with

All of us say we can’t find that one person to be with, but we have. We were just to scared to go after it. I personally have chased a girl to only find out the grass was not greener over here. Just becuase some one is beautiful does not mean their soul is. But they still need to be shown love, you might be the only one to ever do it. Be the example for all! Stop judgment of people and accept them… the good and the bad. Be the example! Stop saying she looks foul in those pants. Be the example! 

Don’t harbor the negitive energy,  the drama that consumes our soul.

Bad thing happens— rolls off shoulder—> Good thing happens 🙂
Loves you 😇