Self-Respect of a Paladin

Posted: April 30, 2015 in Healing, Relationships, Self-Love
Tags: , , ,

pride and confidence in oneself; a feeling that one is behaving with honor and dignity: A proper respect for oneself as a human being: regard for one’s own standing or position.

synonyms: self-esteem, self-regard, amour propre, faith in oneself, pride, dignity, morale, self-confidence


Finding the fine line between being walked all over or walking over someone else is a stressful long process. Learning how to help and not allow myself to become vulnerable in the process. Figuring out how much to give and how much should I receive to keep the balance of life. How to set my boundaries and display the respect to others that I expect to receive. To think about all the experiences it took to come to this survival mindset of protecting the values I hold in my heart.

I have had friends who came out of nowhere just to help me survive in my times of trial. Some of these friends have only had a few short interactions with me prior to ever assisting me. That is one of the beautiful traits that attract me to a friendship, the willing to help without any expectations. I am ever so thankful to those that extend their arms to me and forever will honor them in my heart for their love shown to me. I value the respect they showed me by making boundaries and accepting my boundaries. Establishing a clear line of communication was a key working factor in those adventures.

Respectable People

Surrounding myself with respectable people has been key in this transformation to illumination. Respectable people don’t talk badly about themselves or let others views shape who they are becoming. Taking that grain of salt people have to offer and figuring out if it fits in your moral code. Never will I do something that is below the morals I have gained thru experiencing my life. You should never have to chase true friends or true love, let them chase you a bit for a more authentic version of a friendship. Becoming knowledgeable of the sociopaths and narcissistic traits thru some studying made me very aware to the intentions of others and curing any traits I distaste. Its a really cold and dark world out here and everyone has their agenda to fill, usually just for their own benefits. I highly suggest you read my other blog on Narcissists & Sociopaths for a deeper view.

Finding friends who respect me has been a system of standards that is similar to choosing a potential mate. Looking for those red flags in the actions they do to others. I have become aware of that moment, they might need me or something I have to offer and their agenda involves keeping me happy as I pursue that agenda. Having consciously helped many to fulfil  agendas,  a high level of self-respect I am required to carry to be successful in these types of adventures. Being mindful of my promises and only making them if I know for a fact I can complete the task. Therefore, I look for excessive promises of incentives and measure them to reality this person is providing. Are they meeting my needs to the same standard that I provide them? Be mindful and honest when thinking about my needs being met, illusion comes when my eyes get to big and don’t notice the background music. In the end, everyone is looking to be accepted. Nothing’s wrong with it, but something is wrong if I am looking at them to tell me what I’m worth.

A Key to Self-Respect, Knowledge- Healing thru Wisdom

Challenge yourself with new experiences and information.

Finding that passion to expand my mind on a daily basis, no matter what the topic maybe. I seem to find a deep enjoyment for history and how things came to be on this planet. I sometimes find myself researching a word and the root that it stemmed from. The word “Happy” for example has a history with the Proto-Germanic, Hap- meaning to fit, or convenient. That really does not sound very happy to have something that is convenient or just fits. A great majority of the European words for “happy” at first meant “lucky.” An exception is Welsh, where the word used first meant “wise.” The term Happy ending in the literary sense was recorded first in 1756. I no longer use the word “happy” to describe my state of mind or emotions when I express myself, unless I’m at a craps table feeling lucky. I like to use the word joy c. 1200AD, “feeling of pleasure and delight;” c. 1300AD, “source of pleasure or happiness,”. I love that it is classified as a noun and happy is a adjective. The word joy as a noun brings it alive I feel being labeled as a person, place or thing. Happy seems so instant-gratification now, so striving to place things that bring me joy in my life seems a lot more permanent.

Having random knowledge such as this last paragraph has assisted drastically in attaining a level of self-respect I admire in those around me. The more you know, the more you can grow. And all that growing will empower you, making it much easier to respect yourself. I love finding other beings of light that share their perspective with me, deeply appreciate your insight and honor your courage to share. We have been born into a world that provides much intimidation to people who want to heal thru untraditional methods. Some feel others would never value their opinions and what they know. Some see themselves as not worthy or incompetent. The way I see myself is the way I’ll be. It happens every time I believe, either believe I can or believe I can’t… its my choice. If I can’t, then why I ask? Am I talented enough to find a way to succeed? Have I taken time to legitimately practice and develop skill in this craft? When I choose to take responsibility to achieve the skill and start grinding everyday at it, overtime I get it. The skills possessed in my life are extremely diversified in experience and depth, but there is nothing I haven’t been able to do thus far, unless I don’t try.

Let Go of The Control

Not all  things are within your control (you cannot always control how others act or react), but what is within your control is how you treat yourself.

“Comparison is the thief of joy.”―

Theodore Roosevelt

I love that quote by Teddy, it paints a picture for me of a happy couple, Cole and Justi.

They have been together for 5 years absolutely loving and respecting each other. Best friends all throughout high school while sharing several school activities together that made solid memories for their marriage to stand strong. Cole and Justi are newly acquainted friends with a newlywed couple named Colby & Vicci. They have been seeing each other for a little over a year until Colby popped the question two months ago to Vicci.

Cole and Colby started to spend a few hours a week hanging out away from the girls. With 6 years apart in age, the two had very different perspectives to share about life. Cole being older, the more reserved planner and Colby being a driven go getter. Those two would talk about everything under the sun and share insights to so many topics, till one day. Colby makes a comment in joy about Justi in comparison to Vicci that portrayed the shallowness of their relationship. Unknowingly attacking the appearance of Justi to build up Vicci’s physical traits. The reserved Cole decided to investigate the depth of the joy portrayed thru simple questions that required Colby to focus attention on his relationship.

  • Do you add to each other’s lives in a positive way?
  • Does she inspire you to be the best version of yourself?
  • Are you a priority in her life?

Just a few questions in and I knew what type of relationship this was between them. Colby soon asked the same questions about my relationship with Justi. After stating all the sweet things she does to add to Cole’s life on a daily basis with no expectation. Colby felt robbed as he compared his relationship to another… Noticing all the things Vicci does not do, seeing joy now only in her physical attraction. Truly stated that “Comparison is the thief of joy.”―Theodore Roosevelt

Thanks everybody for being such a big part of these blogs. Your comments are priceless and incredibly helpful and encouraging. Please keep sending them my way and I’ll keep writing from the heart.

naturopathic Paladin

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